Bad Art, Volume 1: "Bling"

For some time now, I've been irritated every time I'm greeted with this poster upon entering the subway. Granted, peoples' artistic tastes come in all forms, but this piece makes me let out an inner sigh of despair when I'm immobilized on a crowded train and know I'm going to have to face it (and take the forced opportunity to study it) for twenty minutes during my commute.


This particular work, done in colored pencil (advanced!) and entitled "Bling" by an artist named Dave Calver, is the worst example of MTA's artistic judgment yet to date. It's a stylized female hand wearing a shirt with subway logos on the sleeve and jewelry made out of New York landmarks. Now, I'm all for public art, even the eccentric or strange. It's part of what makes this city unique and beautiful. I don't even mind the bongo players and dancers at Times Square, though the Scientologists can bugger right off with their stupid "stress tests". My first problem with "Bling" is that it looks like something you'd find marked 75% off in the discount bin at a New Age shop, next to the patchouli-scented aura adjustment candles, whale sounds CDs and crystals that can be used as deodorant.

My second complaint is that it seems to spring directly from the Thomas Kinkade (worst. "artist". ever.) school of crappy, unoriginal space-fillers for waiting rooms and apparently, now subway cars. I feel like I should be idly flipping through a six month old Redbook and waiting to get my teeth cleaned. It sends disappointing vibes all around, and definitely does not do anything to improve my mood while crammed under the armpit of the gentleman next to me. Come on, MTA. You can do better. Give me some poems by high school kids, at least. I thought this was the worst subway poster out there, but it seems Mr. Calver has trumped himself with his most recent effort. It's a brown rabbit bounding through Manhattan with commuters on its back. Truly, truly awful. I've only seen it once, and don't yet have a pic, but rest assured, one will arrive as soon as possible. Until then, keep an eye out for this astoundingly bad piece of art next time you're on the train.

You can't get fitter than a breastfed nipper

Your friendly proprietor of The Karma Cycle is in the health business. With all the hullabaloo about trans-fats, bird flu, obesity and the rest of it, business is good. It seems that everywhere you turn in New York, there's an advisory for cootie testing, healthy food, sex toy safety or whatever issue of the moment the government is taking a swing at. But we're not the only ones with an abundance of health-themed advertising. Here are a few of the more interesting ones I've run across:

I think this old motorcycle safety poster is from Germany, though it's archived at University of Amsterdam. It's pretty badass.


This little gem from Scotland proves that rhyming and breastfeeding are not mutually exclusive.

This vintage military/communist-y morale booster is from 1932 Japan, and translates as "Safety Leads to Efficiency". Makes every day into a Monday after a long weekend.


Leave it to the good ol' American government to make the ladies feel special:


And China wins the gold medal for ominous, gross and disturbing health advertising.

Swallowing atomic bombs kills thousands of Chinese children each year.

MSG is very, very bad for you.

But the award for homo-erotic tuberculosis control posters goes to Japan (translation: "Prevent Tuberclosis", 1930). I have no idea how naked wrestling prevents TB, but I like it. Though I bet they had to beef up their budget for other prevention posters (syphilis, anyone??) the next year...


And last, a little subtlety as only the Australians can do it.