Obits: Anna Nicole Smith

Whew! What an unusual week...and it's not quite over yet. We started off strong with the mentally unstable NASA astronaut, and today, as if the news cycle is trying to top itself, Anna Nicole Smith drops dead. It's not all that surprising, but still...for all her flaws, that lady had some brass ones. She set precedent when her inheritance case was heard before the Supreme Court (the issue was the probate exception to federal jurisdiction for all you legal types...), which earned her a unanimous judgment in her favor. I'm sure it was the first time a former chicken joint waitress/day-shift stripper/Playmate of the Year/model/prescription drug aficionado/yo-yo dieting trophy wife ever went before the nation's highest court. I love this country. I'll let Fox News handle the rest.

Crazed astronaut stalkers make my workday go faster

So this is a perfect example of truth being sooo much stranger than fiction. Today, Lisa Marie Nowak, a ten-year veteran of NASA who took a space flight last July, was charged with attempted murder. So much for heros. Captain Nowak drove 900 miles from Texas to Florida to confront her perceived rival, an Air Force Captain, for the affections of a fellow male astronaut (Nowak was married with kids, he was divorced with kids). This in itself is weird enough, but to show her true level of craziness, Nowak made the trip wearing Depends adult diapers. You know, because not having to stop to hit the bathroom would make the trip waaay shorter.

Nowak also had a choice selection of poorly thought through intimidation weapons, including a compressed air pistol and a steel mallet neatly packed in her trunk. This is what happens when geeks attempt murder. According to Nowak, she and the male astronaut had, “more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship.” NB to the ladies: perhaps the relationship in your head isn't the same as the relationship in reality. And, uh, stalking seems just a tad desperate, so think that 900-mile drive through reeeal hard. Anyhow, Nowak posted $25,000 bail on kidnapping, battery and attempted murder charges and is currently under house arrest in Houston.

The moral of this story: I'm really fucking glad I didn't go to Space Camp.

Image poached from Gridskipper. They're better with Photoshop.