breaking the cycle

The Karma Cycle has been on an unofficial hiatus lately, due mainly to the fact that I don't have much to complain about, celebrities haven't been stupid enough to merit a post, and I haven't bought any products that have made me mad. No grumpy opinions = no blog posts, apparently. I am rather pissed that my gym has randomly started charging me again two months after I canceled my contract, but that saga is ongoing. I have to call and talk to some dude named Johnny tomorrow who's supposed to sort things out. We'll see. Anyhow, until either 1) something blogworthy happens or 2) I win the lottery, quit my job and take to messing around on the computer full-time, the Karma Cycle posts will come if and when I feel like it. Once the weather gets warm, I'd rather sit in the park and read a book anyhow...hasta luego, Cycleites.

Shoot the frog

The Crazy Frog (click at your own risk...seriously), the annoying ringtone mascot, has been scratching around inside my ear canals for a few years now. First, it advertised a ringer that sounded like an electronic moped engine. The noise crawls in your head and jackhammers away at your brain. I used to see it on commercials when I was in London, and I promptly changed the channel...there were only four channels, and most of them were fuzzy. Sometimes I had to put the TV antenna through the mail slot to get reception...and that was when it was sunny (three days a year).

But I can deal with a ringtone promotion here and there. Recently, however, I saw that the Crazy Frog now has its own CD, a random selection of covers, including of Jingle Bells, Pump Up The Jam, and the high school basketball pre-game warm-up classic, Whoomp! (There It Is). Allow me to plant a marker for this event on the slope of senseless consumerism we're rapidly sliding down. While I know I'll never voluntarily have to listen to the Crazy Frog album, I fear for those people who buy it. And what about the children? Something that annoying has to have a lasting effect after repeated exposure. Nightmares and mild paranoia to start off...pretty soon it's pulling a Van Gogh or committing mass amphibicide. The worst fallout from that stupid frog...Wikipedia says they're developing a TV series based on the character. Say it ain't so. Gotta go sharpen my ear-slicing knife.

Fun with microwave cooking

This morning, yahoo.com had a feature story called "Healthier Chip Choices", about to get slightly less fat from eating potato chips. Below the intro sentences, there is a link to a recipe for low-fat potato chips. I click through. The recipe basically calls for you to fill a Ziploc bag with vegetable oil, dunk slices of potato in it, spread them on an oiled plate and microwave them. Sounds tasty, right? I don't know one microwave that's ever made anything crispy. Well, perhaps the Yahoo weekend staff should have read the comments on the recipe before they linked it, because they're pretty funny. Every single one of them says how much the recipe sucks, how it yields mushy, starchy potato slices and not chips, etc. Thanks for the helpful tip there, Yahoo. Keep up the good work.

A bar to avoid

This evening, I ventured into the heart of darkness and was witness to levels of douchebaggery I haven't seen since sneaking underage into cheap, student bars in DC to take advantage of all-you-can-drink rail vodka. The Cellar Bar, in the Bryant Park Hotel, set the scene for the mating rituals of drunk former nerds who are now financial services professionals. I haven't seen so many bad dance moves and so much dry humping since college. Fine, just walking in the door, I knew what I was getting, but I had to be there for two drinks regardless. The population was split evenly between ex-frat guys and sorority girls and middle-aged dudes who probably wished they weren't wearing their wedding rings. Not my scene. Ever. At least now I know where they all congregate and can avoid it like the bubonic plague. The best was when I was waiting in line to retrieve my jacket from the mandatory coat check. A group of four overly-groomed girls and two very drunk, wobbly guys named [no kidding] Brad and Todd, were getting irate because the beleaguered coat check girl took more than thirty seconds to locate Todd's man bag. Yes, I just spent an hour and a half of my precious life in the same bar as a guy named Todd who carries a navy blue dude purse and refers to it as such. It was as if a J-Crew catalog fused with a Ketel One ad and these people were the unholy product of the union. Even though that time is gone forever, I have to say that the Riesling wasn't half-bad and the hand soap in the bathroom smelled pretty.

Random stuff

Just got home from my best date in a long time. Manhattan is brutal for dating, so it's totally worth mentioning. Just had to record it for posterity...and recommend Australians to all you gals out there. I have a couple couple glasses of wine to metabolize before tomorrow morning. Time to watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force and see how much sleep I can get in before the alarm rings...nighty night!

Gold: from a galaxy far, far away to discount mall jewelry

I'm on a bit of a science kick today, so I thought I'd share this article on the origins of gold from NPR's All Things Considered discussion with Neil deGrasse Tyson, Director of the Hayden Planetarium at the Museum of Natural History. Dr. Tyson is the peoples' Stephen Hawking. The shorthand explanation: gold atoms, rare and dense (nearly twice as dense as iron), are formed during the explosion of supernovae (dying planets) out there in the universe. They sit around in space for eons, after which time they may or may not become part of a gaseous cloud, a precursor to planet formation. If they become part of a planet, some of the gold atoms may end up near the surface where we can dig them up and make them into jewelry. Tyson estimates that the journey from supernova to ring, necklace or hoop earring takes about 3 million light years. How insignificant do you feel now?


(thanks, mom)

My new favorite show

Lately, I've been obsessed with How It's Made on The Science Channel, purely for the insane level of detail on the production of the most random selection of products imaginable. The last episode covered the manufacturing of caskets and soda, and so far this episode, it's been knives and mannequins. The creepiest thing I've seen in a while is mannequin parts rolling off an assembly line...arms and torsos springing to human form from dense foam sheets, being cobbled together by Dr. Frankenstein at the end of the conveyor belt and getting painted, made up and wigged to look quasi-alive. Weird. Surprisingly, they cost anywhere from $800 to $2,000. Next up...how socks are made, which of course, is much more complicated than it looks. It involves vacuum tubes. I'm transfixed.